Dear Fake Dr. Tommy:
Last weekend, I went to a bar and consumed many adult beverages and got really drunk. The next thing I knew, I was hugging the porcelain God praying that I would be able to stop puking out my brains.
This morning I feel as though I'm going to die and the room won't stop spinning. Can you please give me advice on how to cure the hangover from hell?
Yours truly.
From Anonymous
Fake Dr. Tommy replied:
Anonymous, the first step in overcoming alcoholism is looking into an organization who remarkably has your name, Alcoholics Anonymous. Second, you may want to examine the grammar and/or syntax you used in your question. I think you meant to say "hugging the toilet and praying to the porcelain God", but we're not here to be 10th grade English teachers. Plus, I suspect you may have been intoxicated when you wrote me for advice, so I'll cut you some slack.
Overcoming an acute case of ethanol intoxication can be very difficult. Two of the main causes of hangovers are dehydration and electrolyte imbalance (which really are one in the same). For one who has a presentation including a night of vomiting, the major concern is electrolyte imbalance. Electrolytes are those molecules about which Gatorade is always talking. Unfortunately, you vomited all of yours up which can make you feel sick. So I would start by drinking a bottle or two of Gatorade. For those of you who aren't quite as sick, you get hung-over because you are dehydrated. Alcohol blocks anti-diuretic hormone (ADH), which causes you to pee a lot when you're drinking. This dehydrates the body and causes an electrolyte imbalance. After a night of drinking, I would advise always drinking a tall glass of water before you go to bed, and when you wake up the next morning you will probably be hangover free.
If these remedies don't totally cure the hangover, there are a few ancillary treatments to consider. The first would be to eat something the next morning. Judging from my primary research, eating something substantial (if not made impossible by nausea) helps me to feel better. You could also try a headache medicine like Advil, Tylenol, or Excedrin the next morning. I really wouldn't try it while you're still drunk, because you might just vomit the pills back up.
If any of you have other suggestions or home remedies, I look forward to posting them here on this blog.
I hope that answers your question Anonymous. Good luck in treating your future hangovers. Remember to NEVER operate an automobile or heavy machinery while under the influence of alcohol or drugs. If you ever feel your sickness is beyond home remedy, please call 911.
Last weekend, I went to a bar and consumed many adult beverages and got really drunk. The next thing I knew, I was hugging the porcelain God praying that I would be able to stop puking out my brains.
This morning I feel as though I'm going to die and the room won't stop spinning. Can you please give me advice on how to cure the hangover from hell?
Yours truly.
From Anonymous
Fake Dr. Tommy replied:
Anonymous, the first step in overcoming alcoholism is looking into an organization who remarkably has your name, Alcoholics Anonymous. Second, you may want to examine the grammar and/or syntax you used in your question. I think you meant to say "hugging the toilet and praying to the porcelain God", but we're not here to be 10th grade English teachers. Plus, I suspect you may have been intoxicated when you wrote me for advice, so I'll cut you some slack.
Overcoming an acute case of ethanol intoxication can be very difficult. Two of the main causes of hangovers are dehydration and electrolyte imbalance (which really are one in the same). For one who has a presentation including a night of vomiting, the major concern is electrolyte imbalance. Electrolytes are those molecules about which Gatorade is always talking. Unfortunately, you vomited all of yours up which can make you feel sick. So I would start by drinking a bottle or two of Gatorade. For those of you who aren't quite as sick, you get hung-over because you are dehydrated. Alcohol blocks anti-diuretic hormone (ADH), which causes you to pee a lot when you're drinking. This dehydrates the body and causes an electrolyte imbalance. After a night of drinking, I would advise always drinking a tall glass of water before you go to bed, and when you wake up the next morning you will probably be hangover free.
If these remedies don't totally cure the hangover, there are a few ancillary treatments to consider. The first would be to eat something the next morning. Judging from my primary research, eating something substantial (if not made impossible by nausea) helps me to feel better. You could also try a headache medicine like Advil, Tylenol, or Excedrin the next morning. I really wouldn't try it while you're still drunk, because you might just vomit the pills back up.
If any of you have other suggestions or home remedies, I look forward to posting them here on this blog.
I hope that answers your question Anonymous. Good luck in treating your future hangovers. Remember to NEVER operate an automobile or heavy machinery while under the influence of alcohol or drugs. If you ever feel your sickness is beyond home remedy, please call 911.
1 Comments:
Dear Fake "Dr." Tommy,
I have what you "doctors" call a little bit of a weight problem. As it turns out, they do call me Springfield Fats just because I'm morbidly obese. I'm tired of all these fads like the "2 Dozen Krispy Kremes a Day Diet" and these Fried Stick-O-Butter Weight Loss Pills. I even tried Atkins. That worked at first (I even stopped sweating when I ate), but I had to stop from the chest pains I would get after my nightly 6 pounds of hamburger meat and cheese dinner. Can you help me?
By The Beef, at 10:10 PM
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